Tiny Finger Point Hand With Heart pandaroma: May 2014

21 May 2014

striked feelings

Optimists seeks chances in every difficulties, while the pessimists seeks difficulty in every obstacles. That's what the folks say. I've not been able to present well in the oral presentation at class today. During my presentation, my hands and legs were shaky. My voice slightly trembled and faded. Then, I shifted my eyes to somewhere, as if there's an imaginary spot to gaze onto. I failed to make eye contacts with my classmates nor the teacher. I was shy, awkward and nervous. Butterflies filled my stomach. I wished I could dismiss those feelings.

I wasn't like any of those who is ebullient, in other words, full of confidence, energy and good humour.  I find myself to be vice versa of the statements above. Perhaps, I shall solve the labyrinth and found myself a great solution for all the answers. 

Tension is accumulating, and stress is coming on its way. I tend to be peeved or getting annoyed, and even holding grudges. These are the effects that are done by stress. Grey-hairs are starting to grow. I'm not the kiddo anymore, more likely a fatigue adolescence. Dark eye bags are hanging under my eyes. I tend to eat more than before, as I often get hungry in a matter of time. 

I had to knuckle down, to work harder. However, health plays the most important role. According to logic, you couldn't do anything if you're sick. Thank goodness, my flu is healing. I hate stuffy nose, having an awfully voice is a terrifically bonus.  

If you never give it a try, how could you know?

18 May 2014

Feeling blue

Geez.. I've caught a fever. These days I keep sneezing and it really bothers me. I hate to catch a cold especially during these days... I mean we are going to face a huge exam not longer after this. I am now heavy-minded, writing for this blog post. I could not think anything now.. my mind seems to shut down and not functioning. Is it a cause of fatigue? Am I fatigue? I am always tired nowadays because lack of sleep.  I cannot sleep to be honest. My mind keeps running some random scenes..

Recently, the rumor of Kris leaving Exo is spreading like wildfire throughout medias and the web. It caused me headache. Seeing the bias you adored and loved to left, yea, that kind of headache and sad. I hate myself for wasting so damn much time in searching for the latest Kris's news. I have many things to do in my list but they were all postponed.. Okay.. I won't spend too much time in social media platforms. Especially Instagram. It's freaking addicting because fans from all around the world keep updating the news and rumors.

However, I don't believe in those rumors. I believe in Kris. I knew Kris very well through Exo Showtime. Yifan or Kris, is a fragile exo-m leader that is always goofing around but he is very kind to fans. He wanted to show us the cool side of him but being derpy as he is, he tends to become very funny and goofy. He is kind-hearted and fragile. Yifan knows how to appreciate fans. He loves the fans as much as they loves him. I am one of them. He loves galaxy.

If the rumors are true, I will be very sad and devastated. Kris is my ultimate bias in Exo. Frankly, there's a woman teacher who looked exactly like him in features. I giggled when I saw her by every chance. But now, I need to avoid looking at her. This heart aches fucking much every time I saw her. Even I hold back my tears when there's a picture of her on Facebook happens to appear in front of the screen. She reminds me of Kris.

I don't know what to do anymore. I feel helpless right now. I just hope all shall end like it would be. A happy ending is what I wished for Kris. He deserves that. I don't want to see him crying because it makes my heart aches. Please, I pledged for miracles in May. And I hope my sore throat and cold will relieve as soon as possible. I want a good health condition so I can do anything I like. It prevents me from studying cause lack of concentration and dizziness.