Emo strikes

I've discovered that I'm an introvert. I hate facing the crowd. And I'm being haunted by the feeling of loneliness. I get nostalgic easily. Sometimes when I passed by a place that I used to share memories with the beloved ones, emotional waves hit me like a truck. I've had so many insecurities, and I procrastinate at most of the times. I often follow the rules in the family, and I've been known for being obedient- ensuring myself to do household chores , to avoid the blabbering of my mom lol. I've had insecurities around people...and I feel uncomfortable when there's people staring at me. I feel like an outcast, a left out.. I'd rather snuggle at home watching my device than plaster a smile to face this harsh and realistic world.
Honestly, I think today's society judge social standard by the appearance. I really disagree to this statement, because I'd rather have no friends than having fake friends who are there for you when you are up, but betrayed u when u are down. There are too many fake people in today's society and unfortunately there isn't any fake people detector device to detect them.. The only truth seeker is time. Time will prove us the true colour of a person.. Well.. What am I saying now lol..
Few days ago I went to a mall. My friends went to watch other movies so I was left behind, then I decided to watch Krampus all alone to kill time while waiting for them to come out from the cinema. It's actually my first time to watch movie alone so I was nervous. The entire movie watching process was quite okay. When I went out of the cinema, I rested my shoulders on the side of the glass and feel damn lonely. People come and go, but I still stood in stationery to wait for my friends to come out from the cinema exit. Suddenly I spotted a man wearing a cap walking towards me and I instinctually ran to the toilet nearby and called my other group of friends. I actually enjoy being alone, but not in a secluded, confined place where teenagers like to roam around. I seriously do not belong there.
Talk about procrastinating, I think I'll win an award if there's even a contest of it. Right now I had a long term school holiday but I don't use it wisely. I spent time playing Tetris, watching drama, books for entertainment and my homeworks are left there untouched. I already had the determination to start doing my homeworks, but time management is what i had lacked of. I tend to waste time on doing household chores assigned by my mum then the rest of the day I'll play with my phone checking Facebook updates. At the end of the day always been regretful for not spending my time wisely. Furthermore school is going to reopen about two weeks time and alas I'm still procrastinating like a hoe. Yeah, it's not absurd, I'm serious about the 'do household chores for a day' part. My mom is like finding evil under every rock, finding any possible mistakes so she can yell to me == then I end up being her household chore minion and she's under control of everything. Damn. The major problem is my time management. Geezz I hate getting involved in exams and everything. I only know there's a lot of crap happening now and it's a nuisance to me. The nuisances are obstructing me to lurch forward to my goals. And I'm getting annoyed! I hope I can get all the shits back together before the new year strikes. Yikes, I hate myself at this moment. Being so helpless, defenceless, pathetic and clueless. Lol.