This is my first experience of losing someone so important in my life. My grandma. It felt so surreal. Initially I was so shocked to hear this news. They could be kidding me, couldn't them?! I keep on denying the truth. The sharp memories of her last call with my mum recalled in my mind. Their last phone conversation was about her telling the doctor about her tiredness when doing household chores, but instead she told the doctor she wad tired doing "home work". My mum laughed at her choice of word. It was a typical daily conversation, we all thought. Then after 2 hours, grandpa described how frozen my grandma was. She was immortally cold. That's when she passed away, peacefully in her sleep..
We thought we could wait for this upcoming September to pay or grandparents a visit as they were anticipating for it, especially my grandma. But why, why so suddenly our last face-to-face meeting is at my hometown, facing her corpse.. we were all devastated. It's hard, I know. Death is really really unpredictable, inevitable. No one knows when is your last time with someone. Even the greatest person will face it, someday. We all can't see through the impending death. So we all tend to be selfish, self-centered. Because we take things for granted. Now, it's no use to cry over a split milk. There will forever be an empty spot in this heart puzzle. Incomplete yet emptiness surged in my heart. And those weren't just tears flowing down. Those were tears of regret, tears with a meaningful of memories. Heart aches. It's a really hard process to move on. That's life. Every incident teaches us a lesson. There's no use crying. We should be strong. After all, it's one part of a process in life.
Today I've kinda recovered from this trauma. Maybe, it's time to move on. Trials are really near. I need to gain positivity and reconciliate from the shock. I've accepted this. My grandmother will always be in my heart. Because good people will be remembered.. those memories will be treasured forever and I'm gonna mourn over the loss.
It's gonna be alright. Everything is gonna be okay.
And I didn't go to school today. Sleep deprived, and the reason behind it was obvious. So, yes it's alright. At least this is something I did to play the role of her granddaughter.
The old memories still imprinted vividly in my memory lane. Let bygones be bygones, for there's a future to go!!